Bathroom Wars, SD Style
by FellowshipOfTheROW
Summary: This is the first fic of the F.O.T.R.! As in all 5 of the ROW member sright 1 fic? Anyway, chap. 3 is up! R&R!
1. The twisted beginning

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Bathroom Wars

By The Fellowship of the R.O.W.

As/N: Mikara This is going to be weird, minna! Everything by the Fellowship of the R.O.W. is going to be weird. But, this is our first collective fic, so we celebrate!

Uh…how do we celebrate people?

Yuki Libre! Libre! (Treat us! Treat us!) Or better yet…burn down Hoshi's house!

Hoshi Naze?!

Mikara -Seductive Voice- (Yuki coughs) Because…we like your arms…

Yuki Stop caressing Hoshi's arms.

Mikara I don't caress it! I _stroke_ it…

Hoshi EW! Stay away from me! (runs out, screaming like hell) (from outside) It's the same thing anyway!!!

Yuki I just love seeing Hoshi freak out! Relaxing!!! Anyway, let's just do the fic before this A/N turns into a mini-R.O.W. (now you know what R.O.W. sounds like…)

-R.O.W. member's talks that are not related to the story.

()- actions

italicized stuff-we have no idea. We just felt like doing it…

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Maki's house on the hill near Kainan High… (the favorite hang out of people when Maki's not around…which is everyday considering the fact that he goes to a mole parlor frequently…)

__

Ayako had just taken the PILL

We think you know why

Cry, little wallaby, cry…

Hoshi: 'Wag not 'to! (loosely translated to "let's not include this!"

Yuki: Sali na natin! (also loosely translated to "let's include this!" And from now on, I don't feel like typing the "loosely translated" phrase so I'll just make it into L.T. gets? Now pay attention!

When Sendoh walked in, he said, "Where's my beloved Maki?"

Ayako, not really surprised by this repulsive remark, coolly replied, "Up a tree, headhumping your dog."

"Oh…you wouldn't happen to know where the ladies' room is, do you?"

"Don't you mean the men's?"

"No, I mean the ladies'."

"Sendoh…"

"What?"

"We have separate bathrooms here. ONE FOR EACH ROOM, or so."

"Well, MY room doesn't have a bathroom."

"Well, that's your problem."

"Oh…Shinichi-kun!" Sendoh called, running out to the tree where Maki was, er, doing his business. How he found where that tree was, considering that there were a lot of trees, remains a mystery to all of us…

Maki suddenly stopped and screamed out, "Aki-anata!" Nayomi: Ick…

"Hello, darling," he said, then his eyes landed on the dog. He suddenly screamed out, all giddy like a flirty and giddy high school student, "CAN I TRY?!"

"Sure!" Maki agreed and handed him the poor, disheveled canine.

"Ooooooooh…how cute…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Sendou suddenly started to bang the poor dog madly on the tree. Akai: Don't get us wrong, we LOVE animals.

"Uh…Sendoh?"

"What? What is it, dear?"

"The…dog…"

"The dog? What about it?"

"Uh…look…"

Sendou immediately stopped swinging his arm back and forth and gave time to look at the canine. It was all bloody.

(The R.O.W. members suddenly appear)

"Aw…" Yuki said, pitying the hound, "Poor dog." She reached her hand to touch her and accidentally turned the bowwow into…ice. "Er," said Yuki uneasily, "Um…Oops?"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Maki screeched. "Now what will I head hump?"

Yuki, thinking that it was her fault, came up with an idea. "Go to your bathroom," she replied coolly. "There are a bunch of bathroom gnomes having their vacation under the sink. I mean, your bathroom is as big as my dojo, right?"

"Beware of the pixies!" Nayomi piped in.

"There are seductive ho-bags there!" Mikara suddenly remembered. "Beware of the seductive Ho-bags! They might¾ "

"Seduce you!"

"Baka, Hoshi! THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED SEDUCTIVE!" Shrieked Mikara, whacking her in the head with an old weenie in a rotting bun. She does that for a good 10 minutes when she suddenly stopped, all calm now. "We better go back to writing the fic now."

"My puppy," cried Sendoh.

"There, there," Maki grinned wickedly, "need a little…comfort?

Yuki flared. "Just go to the freakin bathroom! How on earth will OUR fic be related to the title if you don't go to the bathroom?! It might as well be called 'The Mole and the Porcupine Hentai Files!'"

Mikara walked over to Maki and whispered, "It ain't called 'Bathroom Wars' for nothin…" She grinned wicked¾ er? Nayomi: it's more wickedly, duh!. Mikara: Er…thanks.

Anyway," Nayomi agreed to Yuki, "This isn't Bathroom Wars anymore! It's turnin' to Bathroom Hentai! Now let's do something about it!

~End of Chapter 1~

As/N: Akai So…wah do ya think? R&R! LK Jr. R.O.W. members! (LK means Yo!)

Hoshi Uh…LK din (LK too)! 


	2. Let the games begin!

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Bathroom Wars

By The Fellowship of the R.O.W.

As/N:

PREEESEEENTIIINGG…POPULAR SD BASKETBALL PLAYERS BATHROOM DEATHMATCH!!! (echo effect…hehe…)

The lights dimmed in the bathroom and a spotlight illuminated a bespectacled girl with light brown hair.

"Hello everyone, I am your host for the P. SD. B. P. Bathroom Deathmatch, Urashima Nayomi!"

A short silver-and-black haired girl followed suit and introduced herself as well. "And I am her co-host, Sayama Yuki."

Then another bespectacled girl with short hair, as well, wearing a big smile stepped up and said, "Hi, minna, I'm Mizukara Ayuru! Welcome to the show!" waving to the crowd.

ANOTHER Yuki: My, my, doesn't this sound a bit redundant… girl with shoulder black hair stepped to the stage/arena/whatever and said, "And I am Hoshi, at your service!"

(Sigh) Lastly (finally!), a girl with ear length hair stepped out. "LK peeps! (I'm sure you already know what LK means) I'm Yoshino Akai! Call ma Kai! Good day!"

Everyone we are THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE R.O.W.!

Mikara: A name that I thought up! Note: We should be more descriptive!

Nayomi was confused. "Who's gonna be referee?"

"Mikara-shirei, of course!" Yuki said, handing Mikara black trousers and a black and white striped shirt. "I'm sure they'll look good with your shoes!"

Mikara smiled. "Yes, they most probably will NOT." She looked down at her shoes. "These have 5-inch heels Yuki: (gasp!) She wears high heels!, dammit!" She ran a finger down one of them. "And they're suede! I'm not trying to be priggish, but how am I supposed to explain to my dad how bile got over my birthday shoes?"

"Then rob somebody's sneakers!" Hoshi said, exasperated. "Can't you ever think of ANYTHING?!?" she yelled, whacking Mikara. Yuki: I see what you mean…once, in the science lab, she kept on saying "tinapay" (Bread) while doing an experiment on the water holding capacity of rocks and soil.

"I think of…FUUMA!" Mikara protested, before going into dreamland again.

"Fuuma…"

"Mikara?"

"Fuuma…"

"Mikara!"

"Fuuma…"

"MIKARA!"

"FUUMA!" Mikara yelled, jumping up. "Fuuma!"

Yuki blanched. "OK…she's finally lost it."

"She hasn't had it for a long time," remarked Nayomi.

"I'LL STEAL FUUMA'S SHOES!!!"

"Oh…well hurry it up, will ya?!? You're wasting too much fic space again!!!"

"OK!" Mikara disappeared for a moment and came back with a pair of dripping Nikes. "Here we go!" said Mikara happily as she chucked the contents of the shoes behind her. "Aaah…much better!"

"Uh…Mikara?"

"What, Hoshi?" said Mikara, looking up from tying "her" shoe. 

"Uh…WHAT WAS IN THAT SHOE?!?"

"Yeah, what was in that sh---" Yuki said. "WAITAMINUTE! Stop talkin about the contents of Fuuma's shoes and let's start BATHROOM WARS! Sayang yung notebook space ko no!" Nayomi: LT as "The space in my notebook will be wasted. You see, we were writing on her notebook.

Nayomi shuddered. "Fuuma's feet were still in his shoes…"

"Yep!" Mikara chirped happily. "I'll reattach the, later…Yuki's right! Enough of Fuuma's feet – let's start Bathroom Wars!" The crowd screamed wildly. "Our first contenders: Akagi and Uozumi." A chorus of boos. "Aw, come on, guys…BOO SOME MORE!!!"

"YEAH!" Yuki screamed. "BOO SOME MORE! BOO----"

*BOOM*

"Oops…" she said. "I accidentally fired my grenade launcher…ew!

Uozumi's body parts suddenly rained down on them and his head landed on Akagi, who, in return, screamed like a girl.

"Erm," said Mikara, "the winner is…Yuki?"

Nayomi was confused. "You mean we can be contestants??? No one ever tells me these things!"

"There's NOTHING in the rulebook about the R.O.W. members being allowed to participate in this particular Deathmatch tournament," Mikara interjected. "But as official judges and referees, we get to rig the fight!" she added brightly.

"Um…ok…anyway, on to the next fight! We have…"

Akai was supposed to announce the next fight, but unfortunately, she fell asleep. "ZzZzZzZzZKiyotaZzZzZzZzKawaiiZzZzZ…"

"Er…Let's get this show on the road!" Nayomi screamed. "Next we have…(drumroll)…Sendoh VS Fukuda!"

Everyone gasped. "Hey! Isn't it supposed to be Sendoh VS Rukawa?!" one R.F.G. Yuki: Rabid Fan Girl

"Yeah! This is a rip off! I came to see Rukawa! Not some freak creation (Fukuda grows small here) of some freak scientist (Kogure hides here)!!!" another yelled.

"We couldn't get Rukawa," Hoshi negotiated. "He's too expensive. Fukuda was all we could afford."

A large ruckus was caused by the R.F.G.s. Nayomi pulled out a concealed weapon, due to the tic on the side of her forehead.

*KABOOM*

Bits and pieces of R.F.G.s rained on the remaining audience. Nayomi throws away a controller with a big red button. "Never say such things about Kogure's creations!"

"Um…anyway, let the fight begin!" Yuki yelled.

Sendoh reared up, and yelled his fighting yell. "THOUSAND SPIKES!!!" Hair needles rained down on Fukuda. "Ha! Take that!"

Fukuda stood his ground and puckered his lips.

Sendoh quickly grabbed onto a pillar, as he knew what was coming next…oh boy…

~End of Chapter 2~

A/N: Yuki Yeah! A sort of like cliffhanger!

Nayomi Anyway, R&R!


	3. Fujima VS Maki (Yuki: Oh bloody hell!)

Bathroom Wars

By the Fellowship of the R.O.W.

Disclaimer: We realized that we never put disclaimers…ok here it is. We do not own anything here except the plot and, of course, our characters.

As/N: Yuki Hello. Ever wonder why I always appear in the Author's notes? Well, I'm the one typing it all! Manual labor 'to people! Oh yeah, if it's messy, it's because there are 5 different people writing.

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"Vacuum!" Fukuda yelled. Sendoh grabbed onto a pillar, knowing what was coming next.

"It's getting a bit windy, don't you think?" an English man observed.

A screaming was heard as the wind blew even harder. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" Dorothy ran around, screaming her guts out as Toto followed her. "I don't wanna go back! I don't wanna go back!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed, going insane.

"Dammit Dorothy!" Nayomi yelled over the howling wind. "SHUT UP!!!" (casts Death)

"I don't wanna go back (10x)!" Dorothy screeched really fast.

Jack the Ripper appeared through the floor and impaled the screaming…er…wench.

"Yes!" cried Nayomi. "She's dead!"

"We can use that new funeral pyre I got!" Hoshi said excitedly, pressing a button on her bracelet. A funeral pyre suddenly appeared beside the arena, and pixies took Dorothy's body and laid it on the pyre.

*BAM*

The pixies all fell to the floor in a heap. Mikara swooped down from the shadows, brandishing her colt .45 long barrel. "Damn munchkins. Too pesky, too annoying and way too pink."

"Well," sighed Akai, finally waking up. "At lest we don't have to pay them."

"Who hired these things in the first place???"

"I did!" Nayomi said proudly.

"By the way," Akai piped in, scratching her head. "Where the heck is Yuki?"

They looked around to see her under Soujiro Seta's chair, shaking like hell, looking pale---er than usual. Yuki: Heehee…Soujiro…

Soujiro was looking concerned. "What's wrong, Yuki-chan?"

"P-p-p-pink---" 

She fainted.

"I was going to use them as shooti---Ack!" Nayomi was still explaining before she was blown away by Fukuda's "Vacuum". She grabbed her microphone and said into it, "Fukuda is still doing his counter attack!"

"Dammit! Yamette! It's too much! SILENCE!" Hoshi said (more like screamed), making Fukuda silent. The spell dissolved and the wind grew weaker. "That was entirely uncalled for! The effects of a spell must not go beyond the arena!" (Nayomi falls back to the ground)

"Darn!" said Akai. "This fight is going to destroy our stadium! Our budget!" She picked up her trusty basketball – "Here's to you, Mr. Fukuda" – Then chucked it at him. The basketball was promptly sucked up by Fukuda while he was sucking up more air for his next attack, and Fukuda choked and died.

"Uh…" Mikara sweatdropped. "And the winner is SENDOH!"

Sendoh: *smiley smiley*

Kogure snapped his fingers in disappointment. "Damn, my creation lost!"

"That's okay sempai," Hoshi said, "you've got lots to spare!"

"LIKE ME!" chirped in Legato Yuki: Read Mikara's Anime Academy Awards Chapter 2 for info on Legato. happily, swooping out of the pandimension and glomping Kogure immediately. "Ne, ne, Kogure-san?" Hoshi: Which Legato? Mikara: No S

"Get off!!!" Nayomi shrieked. Legato felt a sudden pull as Nayomi yanked her off her beloved Kogure. She landed near Soujiro's chair, causing a shockwave, waking Yuki up.

"WHAT THE - ?" Yuki screamed Nayomi: OMG, she screamed!. "PINK?! PINK?! WHERE'S THAT HIDEOUS COLOR?!" Forgetting she was under Soujiro's chair, she stood up and…er…you know what happened next. Ouchies for both of them…

"Ow," Yuki said, touching the lump on her forehead. "That…DIDN'T HURT! HAHAHA!"

"Anyway," Mikara started. The crowd was still recovering from the "Vacuum" attack. "Let's have our next match! Please welcome our next contenders, FUJIMA VS MAKI!"

"What?! Fujima?! Doko?!" Hoshi yelled, jumping off the stage thingy and running out.

Mikara stopped whatever she was doing and looked up. "Woo hoo…this should be interesting."

Yuki grinned. "I know Mole-boy's weakness," she said coolly. Ignoring Hoshi, Fujima quickly ran to Yuki, shaking her by the collars.

"What's his weakness?!?!" he said, shaking her harder. He immediately stopped though, receiving Yuki's 'Shake-me-again-and-I-swear-you-won't-see-daylight-ever-again-…-not-to-mention-you're-gonna-have-pimples-in-your-back' look. Fujima's eyes goggled.

"Give me a good reason why I should tell you."

"Well," he leaned in closer (but not too close. He doesn't want to have frostbite), "To impress the ladies, duh."

She snickered. "Like hell as if I'd tell you! Let Maki enter…NOW! (lighning strikes)," Yuki yelled, shoving the point guard away.

A cloaked figure creeped closer. "Pssst, Fujima."

"Hmm?" Fujima looked around to see a shadowy figure near the corner.

"Wanna know his weakness?" it hissed.

Fujima, extremely delighted, answered, "YEAH!"

"It's gonna cost you, though." It came closer and extended its hand.

"How much?"

"Oh…about 1,000 bucks."

"Deal!" Fujima said as he dealt out the cash.

"Ok, this is it (whisper whisper)."

"No way!"

"(Whisper x2)"

"Really?!"

"(Whisper x2)"

"Ha ha ha! Okay, got it!" Fujima went straight to the arena. (Yuki went near Fujima. "Pay us another 1,000 bucks for wasting fic space.")

The cloaked figure, er…uncloaked itself to reveal Nayomi. "He he he…"

Back at the ringside, Mikara and Hoshi were lousing around, waiting for the fight to begin. Mikara leaned on the arena's top.

"I sorta get the feeling that this is going to be a match to remember."

"Why?"

"Dunno. But I'm really excited more than usual. Anyhow, LK (yo) N-han!"

"What?" Nayomi said.

"Are you done with whatever it was that you said you had to do that was so important that you and Yuki asked me to delay the match until you came back and told me that you were done with whatever it was that you said you had to do that was so important because Maki's getting irritated and Fujima looks excited and I don't want to waste this golden opportunity when the captains of two rival teams, numbers 1 and 2 in the Kanagawa prefecture go against each other and I don't think the audience would want to miss this golden opportunity either???"

"WHAT???"

"I said, C'N I START THE MATCH NOW???"

"Alright already!!!" Nayomi replied.

"And for our next contenders…we are pleased to present…FUJIMA KENJI!!!" 

The crowd went wild, with hoots and cheers and yells and wavings of all sorts of banners and fingers Mikara: Not their middle ones, doofus.. The ambulance team was hard-pressed, what with all the screaming, pitching and fainting fan girls. Mikara smiled widely. She liked being a referee. 

"And please welcome…MAKI SHINICHI!!!"

Dead silence (except for Yuki's uncontrollable laughing). 

Mikara sweatdropped. "Uh…one more time…MAKI SHINICHI!!!"

Still no reaction from the spectators. When they were once almost a riot at the sound of Fujima's name, now they were silent and unmoving. Only the paramedics were as frantic as ever, because at the sound of Maki's name more than half of the fainting R.F.G.s went into cardiac arrest. 

"Uh…ok, START THE MATCH!!!"

The bell struck. Mikara stood in between the two contenders, and winced at Maki's poisonous breath, which he had been emitting while grunting. "Now you two," she said in an undertone, "the last thing these people want is a nice, clean fair fight, so do anything and everything you impossibly can to win, got that?" She winked at the R.O.W. members. The two contestants looked dubious so she motioned over her shoulder. 

They could see screaming, punching, kicking, redfaced fans as far as the eye could see, yelling for blood, guts and gore, recovered fangirls having catfights over front-row seats and quickly growing mosh pits scattered all over the stadium. Maki sweatdropped, Fujima sighed (he was used to it) and Mikara took out her whistle.

"Three…Two…One…GO!"

A/N: READ AND REVIEW!!!


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